Breakups

I have a friend who had just broken up in a relationship. Well, time wise speaking, it is not literally “just” as the break up took place about half year ago or perhaps even longer since I did not keep track of time and it does feel like seemingly forever. Honestly, “break-up” has not been a topic within my circle of friends, which I believe is normal since most of use have phased out from this stage.

Sure, we have been heartbroken once, twice or more in our younger days from crushes, infatuations or real dating and I can totally empathize this particular friend. As friends, I have given her the time and space to grieve in my presence. However, I have to admit (guiltily) that my empathy and sympathy have slowly turned to annoyance. I ran out of comfort words and I just want to stop repeating those few standard lines of “you will get over it” and “you will find someone better”. I have really done my best. Despite it all, she is able to somehow still let her past seeped into every where and every thing we do together. I do get that breakups can be a painful experience. But, for her to take what seem like forever to get over can be devastating to not just her but to friends around her as well.

I had in the past spent 10 years or so ran in circles mulling over one particular man (whom I stupidly believed (in hindsight) was the “love of my life”, “my soul mate” and “the only man would marry”). I thought we connected and so I waited only to have found out that he hooked up and married to someone else. So when I said I understood and I empathized, I meant it. I have been there, done that and felt stupid after that. Every time I look back in hindsight, I go “DAMN”. “DAMN” because I believed I could have added so much more to my “palate” while I still had my youth and obviously before I settled down. Had I been able to get over that particular man very much sooner than 10 years, I would now have so much more interesting and “palatable” stories to ponder upon now.

So this is wishing my friend would stop believing in "Titanic love" and *hush*hush* move on soon enough before she finally come to realize youth was so beautiful and priceless... once upon a time.

Xoxo